niina.amniisia » bits, pieces and photos from sydney, australia and elsewhere

you wake up at 6pm (Sunday January 2nd, 2000 - 00:00)

category: mmhuh?

you wake up at 6pm, January 2nd, already a failure for having believed that somehow you could live this year without sleeping. you realise that you’re 20 in the year 2000. you realise that your feet are firmly planted in the ground (or rather the beanbag you’ve crashed out upon) and this is not how you want to be living.

where is the fame? where is the fortune? and when will I figure out who embedded these expectations in me?

on new years morning I watched the replay after replay of fireworks celebrations and viewing all those people, none of them seemed to be as concerned about the future. none had furrowed brows. they were partying. why can’t I party? perhaps I didn’t drink enough.

but walking the streets since, I’ve still not seen any concerned foreheads, just smiling people. perhaps they’re already decided, that’s why they’re happy? maybe I’ll smile too when I figure this life out.

dreams will change so often. one minute I want to be a rock star (be glad I’m not), next I want to be a librarian.

don’t you realise you’re developing children with beliefs that they can do and be anything – you’re confusing them!

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